PR Application

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 I'm applying to be a Permanent Resident of Australia, and there's a written section where I have to prove "substantial ties" to Australia and "compelling reasons" why I left for more than 5 years.

Please tell me if the below is compelling enough
"I was born into this glorious country of warm weather, barbecues and shoeys in the late summer of 1993. It was warm, and glorious, we were happy and cared for. Then, as an INFANT I was TAKEN by my parents AGAINST MY WILL to their homeland. I had no choice, I was bundled into the back of a car at the tender age of just four years old. My screams, tears and fights for freedom went unheeded. I was simply too weak, too small, too vulnerable. I was taken on an aeroplane to a terrible place called Mosgiel, where I was trapped by a lack of financial independence and physical helplessness. I knew I had to escape, but it would be a marathon, not a sprint. I had to plan, I could not just run for it. The harsh winter would surely take me.
I stayed, I went through primary school, intermediate, high school. I grew taller, the seasons changed, as I watched the leaves on the trees fall in colours to the ground in Autumn, then wither and seem to die in Winter, and finally sprout and grow anew in the Spring. I knew as they did, I would too.
I finished high school, I wanted to leave but still I could not. I had no money, and only scraps of an education. I knew I would be no use to Australia like this. I went to University, scratched the weeks into the walls in Dunedin. You would think I used a sharp object, but was able to make my marks using the mould that coated the walls.
Years went by. I was cold. Hungry. Kept my mind on my money and my money on my mind. I knew I had to return to Sydney, I must not give up. I graduated. I still had no money. "CHRIST!" I said as I beat the ground with my fists. My journey had taken twenty years, I still was unable to leave. I knew I could not rely on Australia's welfare system. I must survive on my own.
In a cruel twist of fate, I survived by killing (flies and spiders). For 18 months I travelled around New Zealand in Pest Control, a sharp turn of events I had not forseen. These times were dark, because I often worked in roof spaces and under houses. I squirreled my money away, week by week. I was on commission, it was feast or famine. Mostly famine, because I was sustained by my dream of returning to Australian shores. Again I counted the days, booked a one way Jetstar flight, bid farewell to my Father who had given up his life as well when he was bamboozled by my Mother into staying in Mosgiel when he too wanted to escape. It was too late for him. I must do it on my own.
I spent 3 hours on the plane getting closer, closer. Suddenly we touched down in Sydney, in the middle of winter. I left the airport and felt sunshine. I will never forget that moment.
My dear friends can attest that when I first swam in the ocean and realised I would not be struck down by hypothermia I laughed and rejoiced in a way that was extremely embarassing to be seen with. I do not care. I do not care who sees my love for this glorious country, I know the fire in my heart and the deep love in my soul for this beautiful place.
Please, let me stay.

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